a FAT girl's diary.

The Seven of Chalices card reversed suggests that setting your romantic sights too low or too high might be an attempt to deny signs of internal dissatisfaction and could put a damper on romance and intimacy. These obstacles or losses, however, could actually help you to reconcile your heart's desire by putting true love within reach or by identifying what has authentic value and appeal on a soul-deep level. After all, it might be a faulty sense of self-esteem that stands between settling and having the confidence to go for what you secretly desire. Being able to finally identify what it is you really need can expand your capacity to love. You could begin to envision your true potential or rediscover your authentic, creative and playful self, which could then enable you to better connect with what you deserve.

The Four of Pentacles card suggests that if you love something, set it free. If it returns, it is yours. If you hang on to the status quo or to a person because you fear being alone again, you may not realize you are already isolated or backed up against a wall with no way out except to change immediately. Are you restricting yourself or using your once-treasured tokens to construct an empty shell that may no longer offer luxury, security or comfort? Money can't buy happiness and you can't take it with you when you go. With the proper incentive, you can bargain your way out of the relationship dog house if you let go of some of your stubborn pride and accept the consequences.

The phone just rang. I didnt even check the caller ID to see who it was, because i knew. Who else would call this late and risk waking up Rocky (who could sleep through a war protest...and actually has)? And mum confirmed it when she looked in to say it was Michael, saying sorry to call so late but I wasnt picking up my cell and he wanted to make sure I'd made it home OK. Like I'll ever be OK again. Mum asked if I wanted to speak to him and I just looked at her and said, "Um, Michael, now is probably not the best time,' into the phone and went away. My chest feels funny. Like it's empty and hollow inside. I wonder if this is because I just barfed up the rest of my dinner or if it's because my heart has shattered into so many little pieces it's basically disappeared.

The Nine of Swords card reversed suggests that there may be a couple of ways to go with this. The first and most optimistic stance to take is that you have already experienced the moment of realization. Now you can let go or move forward, and you may be quite ready to accept the inevitable change that must come on its heels. You are putting things into perspective and not crying over spilt milk, and are confident in your assertion of no more tears and self-pity. Conversely, you may be using this moment of truth as a means of denying or ignoring the warning signs, or are overly rational to keep from losing it. If you don't want a recurrence of the pain or sorrow, take steps to move to the next level of actually letting go. It's time to accept, forgive and then raise your own standards. Then move on and mean it.

The High Priestess card suggests that a little mystery can be more of a turn-on or attraction than putting it all out there or giving it away. This strategy and the use of body language can go a long way toward satisfying your secret romantic intentions or leaving a good impression. Have faith in your plans, but don't become overly emotional or turn into an ice queen if things don't work out exactly as you expected. Never let 'em see you sweat, and don't make apologies for who you are just to feel valued by others.

Aries September 26, 2007 You will thoroughly enjoy today. There is a wonderful feeling that both you and your loved one are cosmically meant for each other, that your names have been written in the stars since the beginning of time, and that you'll be with each other for eternity... What? You've suddenly gone off that idea? Best make for a sharp exit - before it's too late. Aries September 27, 2007 There is a lot of electricity between you and your current partner (no pun intended.) But the energy of the day may cause a fuse to blow, because you have deeper feelings for someone else. If you have been waiting for that very special person who hasn't been available till recently, you may not have to wait any longer. The green light is on and means go!

The Four of Wands card suggests that you may be celebrating a commitment, consummation or reunion. The two of you are enjoying success, attention, relief or reward at the most fundamental level of your relationship. This is an experience or moment to be shared together, but you may have to also take it public for the benefit or approval of others. Dancing or a coming-out ritual may mark this rite of passage for you and your soul mate.