a FAT girl's diary.

Her: [Pause] Do you love me? Him: Of course I do. Her: How much? Him: I don't know . . . loads. To infinity and then some. Her: [Contentedly] Good. Him: That's that sorted, then. Her: [Playfully] So what would you do if I ever split up with you? Him: Are you going to do that? Her: No. Him: Then why are we talking about it? Her: It's called conversation. People do it all the time. Him: So let me get this straight, the question is what would I do if you hypothetically dumped me? Her: Yes. Him: Hypothetically nothing. Her: Nothing? Him: Well, as we're mad about each other it'd take me doing something pretty stupid for you to want to get rid of me. [Pause] Like if I started biting my own toenails or something. I'd dump me if I started doing that. Her: Do you always have to be so logical? Him: [Laughs] I'd be devastated. Destroyed. Dismantled. And other words beginning with "D." Her: But what would you do? Him: Do? [Pause] I would do everything in my po

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