I don't care.
I don't care that I have tons of hw due tomorrow. I don't care about the fact that I'm not starting on it. I don't care if my teacher scolds me tomorrow. I don't care if I need to copy pages of time magazine articles. I just don't care because I have recieved my first written warning for absence from NAPFA Intensive Training Programme.
It says...
"You have not attended the NAPFA Intensive Training Programme on which and which dates. You are to serve detention at the following dates. Any further absenteeism for the above programme will result in you having to serve at least 1 week of in-house suspension and you might not be eligible to sit for the year end examinations if you continue to be recalcitrant and truant from lessons. We hope that you will improve on your self-discipline and take this first warning seriously and attend all lessons."
And then I still have to acknowlege.
" I acknowledge that I was truant from the above mentioned lessons. I'm aware that I will have to serve at least one week of in-house suspension the next time I am truant and that AI may not be eligible to sit for the year end examinations if I continue to be truant from my lessons."
Followed by my parent's acknowledgement.
" I acknowledge that my child named above was truant from his/her lesson as stipulated above. I am also aware that he/she will have to serve in-house suspension the next time he/she is truant from lessons and that he/she may not be egligible to sit for the year end examinations if he/she continues to be recalcitrant and truant from lesson again."
And so, I gave myself a few options.
Option number one: Which is the most commonly agreeable one. And that is to attend all trainings. Maybe I could never live till valentine's day. Possibly already broken a leg or fractured my arm due to the intensive trainings.
Option number two: Find a way to get PMC (permanent medicial condition) so that I can escape from NAPFA. Like for example, sprain my back or get close to smokers to get asthma hopefully.
Option number three: The most feasible one. Continue to go for trainings but if I missed one by fate. Then I'll gladly serve one week or more in-house suspension. Better yet, be ineligible to sit for end of year's examinations. Now, that settles and ends all my problems and stressful life right now, isn't it?
This warning letter comes as a calling for me to stop studying. Perharps the nature of many forces(whatever they may be) are telling me to stop doing what I do not like. For the first time in my life to achieve something great. And that is to stand up for myself.
It says...
"You have not attended the NAPFA Intensive Training Programme on which and which dates. You are to serve detention at the following dates. Any further absenteeism for the above programme will result in you having to serve at least 1 week of in-house suspension and you might not be eligible to sit for the year end examinations if you continue to be recalcitrant and truant from lessons. We hope that you will improve on your self-discipline and take this first warning seriously and attend all lessons."
And then I still have to acknowlege.
" I acknowledge that I was truant from the above mentioned lessons. I'm aware that I will have to serve at least one week of in-house suspension the next time I am truant and that AI may not be eligible to sit for the year end examinations if I continue to be truant from my lessons."
Followed by my parent's acknowledgement.
" I acknowledge that my child named above was truant from his/her lesson as stipulated above. I am also aware that he/she will have to serve in-house suspension the next time he/she is truant from lessons and that he/she may not be egligible to sit for the year end examinations if he/she continues to be recalcitrant and truant from lesson again."
And so, I gave myself a few options.
Option number one: Which is the most commonly agreeable one. And that is to attend all trainings. Maybe I could never live till valentine's day. Possibly already broken a leg or fractured my arm due to the intensive trainings.
Option number two: Find a way to get PMC (permanent medicial condition) so that I can escape from NAPFA. Like for example, sprain my back or get close to smokers to get asthma hopefully.
Option number three: The most feasible one. Continue to go for trainings but if I missed one by fate. Then I'll gladly serve one week or more in-house suspension. Better yet, be ineligible to sit for end of year's examinations. Now, that settles and ends all my problems and stressful life right now, isn't it?
This warning letter comes as a calling for me to stop studying. Perharps the nature of many forces(whatever they may be) are telling me to stop doing what I do not like. For the first time in my life to achieve something great. And that is to stand up for myself.
Comments
Decided to leave a comment instead since its kinda more convenient. Although we have known each other for 18 yrs or less, bt then we arent too involved in each other's life all this while. Cos we different levels, diff schs, we each have own lives to lead.
Yet, i rmbr u once told me that you are a person that hate to show emotions out. This will make u feel that u r weak or sth like that. n in ur prev post, u wrote that u hated the fact that u cant control ur tears recently.
Hmm. actuali why tink that crying is a sign of weakness? i mean if u r reli stressed , crying does help both mentally n physically. Its proven!!! COs when u cry, u actuali sort of cry out a hormone in ur tears. This hormone is so called the sad hormone, which is making u sad troubled.
So find someone to rant to. Write in ur blog. Cry, yell. Throw ur books. Such actions may be quite rotten, bt they are actions that will fuel you to move on. After crying, u will still pick up ur books ba.
Well, n all along , i will likw to sae that u have a misconception of me. Like all the pple in amk, u have a misconception that i cn study well. i noe u have faith in me. bt then i feel that u overestimated me.Like you, i was in J2, my j2 wasnt like plain n smooth sailing as u thot it would. i struggled a lot too. I failed all my 3 subjects (h2) in prelims. It was also a big blow. Yes, it was a huge plunge frm my sec4 prelims. I also had a lot of morale problems. my maths wasnt up to std, my chem was even failing me. i jus feel like giving up. The principal toks about AJ majority all making it to U, not only didnt encourage me, it further made me discouraged n frightened. i was afraid of being left behind. Reli. then,my blog entries were all abot givingup, seeing no tmr. Sian of all the math tut, n all the hw that cnnt be finished. I feel like a gone case,unmotivated.
That's when i approached a counscellor. i didnt tell my parents bout it. like you, i cant reli break down in front of them. i cant. i wanted to solve it myself. The counscellor honestly couldnt help me much, i mean he aint a fairy, that could solve my problems instantly. help me gt all As? not possible.
Bt he sort of allowed me to rant n rant. n to help me formulate a last min rev plan. It helped. at least a little. All i wana sae is. not everyone u tink is fortunate or doing well is doing well. U are jus one of the many struggling students of J2
Trust me. u can make it. Takeit step by step. Don be too flustered. okay? Don maple too much also.
Lastly, Happiness is dereived, not bestowed. take care=)
P.s. Don tell ur mum arh. counscellor tingy.